Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
organizing the empties. That sober.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize