hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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