At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
