Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize