i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
