Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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