As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
