i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
