just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
