i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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