wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Less talking, more tequila
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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