i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
