yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
