also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
