Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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