I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
