these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
