I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
