dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize