yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
