He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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