Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
