Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
