It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
