No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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