Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize