do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
