Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
