what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize