2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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