Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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