Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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