he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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