remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
