I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
