He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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