sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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