its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will be naked everywhere
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize