I'm gonna have a badass scar
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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