I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize