Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
