plz talk dirty to me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
