I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
