I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
