Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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