She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it because I queefed?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
