I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
