Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
