you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
