just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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