Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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