The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize