Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize