mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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