Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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