You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
