Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm at about main and main street
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
