Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
