I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
whose ass print is on the piano?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
