coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
