good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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