Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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