Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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